Posted on: March 11, 2009 8:07 pm

The Sport of Truck Driving

Okay, I have a beef with all people who think that a Prius is a viable option to try and push/merge onto the highway in front of an 18 wheeler. Now, nut for nothing, I am a very peaceful truck driver. I love my job very much and I take it very serious due to the fact I drive an 80,000 lb bomb that can end a life in seconds. But, with that said, why do idiots try and merge onto a 75 mph freeway at 60 mph and expect me to just get out of the way. For the love of all that is Holy ,i.e. poker, sports, kids, wife (at times), I ask everyone who doesnt hold a Class A CDL. Learn to MERGE. Nuff Said.

The scenerio goes as such.

6:10 PM, Northbound I-25 Mile Marker 135, Colorado Springs Colorado.

2 lanes with an onramp from the right hand lane. Driver 1 (me in a rig) max speed 62 mph. Speed limit 65. get the picture so far. Driver 2, some human on a cell phone coming up the ramp, obvious to me going faster than 65. i am watching all the cars as they speed up the ramp to merge with the northbound traffic. I look in my left mirror. yup, just as I suspect, a train of cars about 500 yrs long on my left, no chance to get over and out of the way so traffic can merge easier. so what to do. Maintain speed  (60 at the time) and allow faster vehicles to merge around me.

Now that being said, I watched this idiot, cell phone attached to ear, never look at me once. The merge lane ends quite rapidly at this merge spot. With less than 200 ft to the end of the merge lane the idiot finally looks sideways and lo and behold! Hey a 60 ft long vehicle is in the way. Imagine that.

Now, if you are the normal trained driver, there is no problem either slowing down or speeding up to merge in such a situation. Wanna take a stab in the dark as to what this phone attached to ear idiot did?

Nope, you guessed wrong.

Phone to ear person crashed their car into the ditch at the right hand side of the merge lane. I on the other hand nearly crashed trying to stiffle the laughter trying to escape my body.

20 Minutes pass by as nothing else weird happens. I am north of Colorado Springs by this time and my phone rings. My company's safety manager is on the phone.

 First question from his mouth.... Whats going on?

Well..... nothing..... why boss?

Did you run someone off the rode about 20 minutes ago?


So what happen?

I spend the next 5 minutes explaining to my safety manager exactly what happen, where and when.

After my boss stops laughing he tells me the person has witnesses that I ran them into the ditch. Now before you think anything bad of me, understand this.

There was unknown to the person talking on the phone to my company about how bad a driver I was just minutes after the incident. A phone call made by an Air Force Captain to the local Colorado State Patrol dispatcher detailing how he had been directly behind this phone attached to ear idiot describing the incident how he saw the whole thing.

Guess who was at fault for the said accident. Not me! HAHA. Go buy a new Prius you idiot. I love Karma.

This is a hazard that all 18 wheel truck drivers have to deal with on a daily basis. I ask. Nay, I beg all people who drive in, on or around any roads where you encounter a vehicle bigger than the one you are in. Remember this. You can move faster, get in smaller places and die alot faster than we ever can. Please dont be a red spot on the road just cause the phone is attached to your ear.

Be Safe out there.


Category: General
Posted on: February 18, 2009 11:45 am
Edited on: February 18, 2009 11:56 am

1st Childs Birthday! 2nd Child gets a gift?

Okay, here we are. D-Day for a B-day.

Now, from my own personal experience, my wife has 2 older brothers and 2 older sisters. I ,not by choice, have 0 siblings living. I have had the fortune not to witness this in my ,our, family. Unfortunately, I have been at birthday parties for my kid's friends where this has happen.

Lets paint the scene shall we. 1:00 pm in the afternoon on a sunny Saturday afternoon. Local park is filled with birthday parties. Out of nowhere the agonizing scream of a small child who must be caught under a car being dragged at speeds approaching lightspeed. I turn to try and locate this sound that has plunged a knife about 5 inches into my hip bone. Lo and Behold, I spy the child standing on a picnic table about half a mile away (okay 50 yrds. tops). First thing that pops in my dinosaur brain... That kid could be a star on Broadway.

And this years OSCAR for best acting in a drama goes to ___________.

Now, I know what you may be thinking. ....... Nope I have no clue, I am still hunting for some dirty napkins to shove in my ears to try and stop the torturous wails of this obvious child abuse victim. I see another child sitting amid a throng of small kids wearing a hat that looks like it was imported straight off the Bozo the clown website (does Bozo have one? hmmmmm.). The child is gathering what looks to be all the available oxygen from a 5 square mile radius into his lungs to blow what looks like a candleabra from some Vatican ceremony off the top of a 6 tier cake. Granted, I may be embellishing a wee bit (okay it was only 5 Tiers). Now, as this scene is going on, I notice an adult reach over to the pile of wrapped gifts and snag one off the rear of the mound. The adult then hands the present to the car dragged child who instantly must have undergone some sort of Star Trek healing (the wails stopped and the child was done with the acting). Now, unbeknownst to me, my 4 yr old (now 5) asks me what that was all about. I instantly think to myself, truth or dare), do I say what I think or do I go diplomatic.

Well, If anyone has read my material, I am sadly lacking in diplomacy. Just ask my wife's sister. She made the mistake one day of asking me that question which most guys dread. I quote " What do you think Doug, does this pair of pants look good on me?" Before my wife could lunge at me to get the tourniquet around my throat the words were out. "Well, that depends, how much KY did it take to get the pants on over your hips." I am happy to say that lil comment cost me 6 months without her wonderful words lightening my life. The sister's words not my wifes. After 8 years together my wife knows me all too well and has many times warned her sisters not to ask my opinion if they dont want blunt truth. Wonder if the sister will talk to me this Easter. Well, heres to hoping yes.

Now, back to topic, the child who was wailing from the car dragging has now become quite sedated from the present it has received. My child is perplexed and asks the ineviatible question. "Dad, why dont I get a present when Jayden or Izzy has a birthday party"

Cmon feet dont fail me now...... Think Brain Think.......    Lie or Truth........HMMMMMMMMM

Okay, lets weight the options. A lie is the easy way out. Always a desired option for the parent of 4 kids. Truth will confuse the child...... Maybe he will just forget the question if I stare at him like I just had a stroke....... Nope that didnt work he is still staring at me... Damn..... Okay, here goes....... Well, Skylarr, that child has to be in on whatever goes on and the parent has failed at being the one thing they cannot fail at. So, in order to make the child feel like part of the day the parent cowwed to the child and gave the child what it wanted. Ummmmmm. god I hope I said that on the inside....Quick glance at my son tells me the answer..... Whew that was on the inside. Okay. "Well, Sky, maybe the child was stung by a bee and the parent is trying to make them feel better. No, i doubt that. Sky, that parent has done a bad job of showing the child who is screaming that they are not in control of the family. the child who is screaming has the wheel of the family. Lets look at this from our family." Sky says, "okay, dad". "If we had your birthday party today and your brother Jayden all of a sudden started screaming like that what would you think if mom gave him one of your presents." Skylarr says, eyes wide. " I get a party today". 

 Uh Oh, now I am cornered. Wrong tact. Warning claxons going off like a sub taking the nose dive of the Thresher.

"Nope, no party today kiddo, just a problem we are talking about."

 "Oh, okay dad. well....... dad?"


"This problem would not happen with our family. Mom has the wheel."


Cmon kiddo, want an Ice Cream. Psst dont tell your mom I want to drive sometimes.

Category: Fantasy
Posted on: February 17, 2009 6:28 pm

UGH, Slap me please.

to those who just like to spew the drivel that causes riotous posts. go get a life.Okay, I will be as I should be here. I wrote those words over a month ago in a post after the AFC Championship game.

I have spewed drivel in this last few days about the state of the CBS Sports community forums. The scoring, the trolls, the rating system, the whatever.


I, unlike alot of people out in the world, will stand in 1 spot and allow the line of hand spread wide people to take their turns whacking me across the kisser. This will hurt for a while but I feel I totally deserve it. If anyone wants an apology, go find A-Rod. I hear he is doling them out. No Apology here. I fully accept my douchyness.

Ugh, I need a shower again.

Well, Its off to work in a wind that sounds like its hurricane strenght here in Colorado. Should be a blast drive to Denver.

To all who actually have me as a friend. Tomorrow i promise to create a blog entry about presents from parents to a 2nd child just cause a 1st child is having a birthday. I am going to think long and hard on my 4 hr drive (from Pueblo to Denver and back) this evening about its content. Stay tuned for the rant.

Category: Fantasy
Posted on: January 28, 2009 11:09 am

Youth Sports in America

Where to begin...

Lets begin with the story that is tearing up the blogs about youth sports. The 100-0 game. I think we all have by now heard the story. Youth girls basketball team beats another team by a 100-0 score. Coach gets fired. Bad move by the way, Coach wasnt in the wrong.

Now, as a father who coaches 5-6 yr old sports, I have no problem with this score. Maybe I was raised in a different era that accepts defeat and learns from it rather than whimpering about it. I know that the kids I coach are always happy in a loss or a win. I cant by the bylaws of the leagues keep scores or records, but I do in my head. The kids that play for me have been so excited when I tell them their stats in a season. I can remember when I played little league as a kid ( little league was all we had where I lived). We had none of this everybody wins. In sports there is always a winner and a loser. Thati s what motivates everyone of us who strives to compete with others. Its the adrenaline rush and the endorphine surge to win.

I believe, right or wrong, that as a culture we have become soft in all forms of youth sports. We need to rethink the values that allow everyone to play, despite the abilities to do otherwise. The naysayers will blather on about the fairness of these statements and I truly feel sorry for those people. They are usually the ones who as kids were picked last behind the 1 kid with a rock in his mouth wondering about the colors of a rainbow. By the way the rock chewing kid was a monster at defensive end. Wonder how he is doing figuring out the colors thing? Back to the point. The everyone wins rule is making sports a joke at young ages. I have 4 kids and I can speak only for myself when I state. My oldest has never played organized sports due to his inability to comprehend what it takes to compete. doesnt make him bad or good. I just knew that his brain didnt function that way. He loves to watch sports and to break it down like an analyst. But to play? Nope! Still love him all the same. Now switch to my 6 yr old. He is a sports playing freak. Cant make him get out of his soccer shoes. Always kicking the ball around the house. When he isnt kicking the ball with his foot he is pushing it around the house with his baseball bat. the Trampoline in the back yard is always filled with balls of every type. Footballs, Baseballs, Basketballs, Soccer balls, even a torn apart Tennis ball (still have no clue where they scraped that poor excuse for a tennis ball up from). My 3 yr old son is right there along side the 6yr old. Heck, 1 game in November the 3 yr old had to be carried from the indoor soccer field cause he somehow wormed his way through the fence and joined his brother on the field to play (i was secretly praying he would steal the ball and score). Did the 14 yr old long to play? Nope! He was more intrested in the scores from across the football leagues. I can only as a father ask him if he wishes to play and respect his wishes not to.

Talk about way off the track i started on...  Wow Ravings indeed. Well. I think I have made a point there somewhere. I know how I feel as a coach and I wish we as a nation would go back to the long, lost days where just the winners were awarded trophys or medals. I know as a kid growing up it was all about the trophy. Many a season went by where there was no trophy on the mantle. Did it make me sad? Heck yea it did. Am I sorry that my kids will never feel that way. Heck yea I am. I am a 39 yr old man now with many a gleaming trophy sitting in the family den. I have won them from a variaty of endeavors, Billiards, Bowling, BMX racing (as a 22 yr old no less), Darts (my wife 1 upped me in this category, her trophys are from the World Championships in Las Vegas), and of all things Cribbage. My 4 kids, the 3 who can talk, always ask me about them and want to hear the stories behind each 1. As a parent I try my best to explain to them how to compete at a level that will allow them the chances to walk away from a competion with 1 of their own. My 6 yr old son has his 1st trophy from soccer sitting right there on the mantle but all the rest he has aquired from sports are littering the play room for his younger sister and brother. Makes me feel proud that he has already built the pride that winning instills. Just to compete doesnt get it done.

Oh, by the way. My 14yr old son. The one who could care less about playing. He is an A student and well on his way to a career in broadcasting. He wants Eli Golds job ( the man who does NASCAR). I am so proud of him. Wonder if he still remembers sitting as a baby watching dad race BMX bikes. Think I will go chat him up and see if he wants to watch a old race and break it down.

Anyhow.... As a card carrying member of the coaching ranks in youth sports in America. Why do we feel as a nation that the kids need the moral boost a trophy instills. I teach and labor away with the youth and I see in their eyes that fire that winning brings. We as a collecive think that they dont care about the score. I beg to differ. I hear them ask every week at practice and before a game. They care. Its the ones who are thrust out on the field by parents who dont listen that think everyone is a winner.

Wonder if they like rocks? The parents that is.

Category: General
Tags: youth sports
Posted on: May 12, 2008 2:30 am

Mike Skinner Fans United Thread

well, we are well into this season adn mike is trying like a mad dog to climb back into the points race. bad luck at start og the year this time. maybe that bodes well at the end. lets all hope so. sorry havent been keeping up with the blog but hey, life is short and kids ar all in sports, will try and update every week from now on. oh btw to all the kyle busch haters.......... I LOVE YOU..... kyle busch is such a donkey driver. wish he would severly sprain both wrists while patting himself on the back. dirty drivers get paybacks when they least expect it. better wtach that mirror kyle...... lts of angry drivers int he paddock.
Category: Auto Racing
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